um what?

Over these past two weeks, I've been through way too many boxes of tissues. Actually, I cried so much that I burst a couple blood vessels under my eyes. On the seniors' last day, I cried 7 times in school alone. Prior to that, I had never cried in public. I don't think I'm ready to grow up. With only two days of my junior year ahead of me, I'm about to enter the crazy world of college applications. I continually feel like I messed up junior year so much, for so many reasons. Next week, I'm set to go on three college visits, what? Where did my childhood go? I vividly remember the first day of fifth grade. We sat in a circle and talked about ourselves (I'm really good at that, in case you haven't noticed.) The girl next to me talked about how her sister started her first day of sophomore year. I remember thinking,"what's a softmore?" And look at me now! Graduation is on Friday.Then, I'm a senior. A SENIOR. I'm 16 years old and 4'11. I can still order off the kids menu for pete's sake. I'm not ready for this. Can someone please give me my life back? Please?