1. You're probably not a hipster if you don't have a vinyl LP library.
2. You're probably not a hipster if your fingers aren't green from your excessive use of rings.
3. If you've showered any time within the past three days, you're probably not a hipster.
4. You're probably not a hipster if you've ever used the word "hipster."
5. If you use glasses, it's probably because you can't see, and not because you're hipster.
6. If you wear fake glasses, you're definitely not a hipster.
7. You're probably not a hipster if you drive a car.
8. You're probably not a hipster if you aren't an active member of the Green Party.
9. If you're not vegan, you probably aren't hipster either.
10. Do you hate wearing mom jeans? Then you're not a hipster.
11. You're not hipster if you live in the suburbs.
12. Actually, you're probably not a hipster if you don't live in Williamsburg.
13. Unless you use irony ironically, sorry, but you're not a hipster.
14. If you wear ugly sweaters, it's because you have bad taste and not because you're hipster.
15. If your sarcasm makes people cry, well hey, you might be a little hipster. Or just a really mean person but hey
