It's 11:18 and I Haven't Started My Homework

I was talking to one of my dearest friends, when we came to the realization that our lives have just gone downhill since freshman year.
Just recently, I learned that my life is so meaningless to the point that I can't even pass those spam filters. That's right, the internet thinks I'm spam. I was rejected by the Internet, not once, not twice, but three times within the last 10 minutes.
Other reasons why my life sucks:
I always thought I was the favorite child. But no, in the past 5 years, my dad has sent me a total of 1 text message. I always text him, but he never answers me. I thought he was just a busy guy, but no, apparently he's not too preoccupied because he's constantly texting my sister:
         My sister: hey
         My dad: hey
         My sister: what's up dad?
         My dad: watching Netflix
         My sister: I'm going to teach you how to text like cool ppl
In addition, not too long ago, I realized I used to be cool. Then I joined marching band. No, not even matching band, I joined the color guard. Since then, I've had random bruises all over my body, and I managed to hit my lip in a way that even my dentists are worrying about my safety. I can't yawn without nearly crying.
I'm also just going to put this out there, I'm terrible at the violin. They should have made me stop when I walked into my first lesson in third grade holding my violin upside-down, ready to play.
Oh, I'm also struggling to keep a decent grade in ENGLISH CLASS. What is this?! How is it that I understand THE CALCULUS more than english?
I cant walk in a straight line
My favorite pen died
My favorite pen was discontinued
I don't know what day it is
I still haven't started homework

More self-deprecation to come later, folks

The Usual

Here's a picture of me being a cannibal

Happy Halloween!

What's better than marching band?

Everything.

Can you guess what I am?!

Story of My Life

I'm at that emotional state in my life right now where I exaggerate every single little thing that happens. I'm constantly finding faults, not necessarily of mine, but with the world as a whole. So I just spent the last 15 minutes crying, not because the government is stupid or because slavery is still rampant around the world, or because I ran out of popcorn, but because of the ice cream truck.
I was sitting, studying for my literary terms quiz, when suddenly, I heard the joyous melody of the ice cream truck. For some reason, my first reaction was to run to the window and look at all of the kids that were being treated to ice cream, because seeing other people happy in turn makes me happy! (is that creepy? I dont think it's creepy. I'm publishing this anyway. #yolo) But wanna know what I saw? Darkness and rain surrounding the solitary ice cream truck. It's not right that the sun is setting at 6:30 pm, and it certainly is not right that there are ice cream-less children out there. I am going to start my own political party to address these grievances.
More details on that later.

Just in case you were wondering, I had a bowl of cookies and cream.

So This Is the Story All About How My Life got Flipped Turned Upside-Down

I know this is a really hackneyed saying, but I just found out my childhood is a lie.

What prompts me to use this trite and drastic phrase, you ask?

So I was just sitting on my bedroom floor, scrolling through my newsfeed, when my sister walked into my room: "Hey, can I borrow this? Oh, by the way did you know that Zac Efron doesn't actually sing in High School Musical?"

OMG WHAT?

Of course I didn't believe her, I mean she's my little sister... You can only trust those Directioners so much... So the skeptic in me had to look it up... And, alas, 'twas true.

I might need a couple days to really take in this information. I need to pull out my mourning clothes. Okay, first I need to buy mourning clothes. Guys, I honestly don't even know what to do, or with whom to converse about this tragedy.

This is worse than that time when Josh suddenly wasn't fat anymore. No, Josh, you need to be fat. Drake and Josh is the greatest show in the world. But I digress.

Ugh life.

 PS. I've known the entire opening rap for the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air since third grade. At least I still have that.

Bonne Anniversaire à Moi!

Wanna know how great my birthdays are?

So today, I got home from school, and my seven-year-old brother ran up to my sister and wished her a happy birthday. Not only is it not enough that he can't remember what day I was born, it seems that I have the tendency to forget, as well. I think I must have asked like 3 classmates for today's date. But hey, I had a decent number of people wish me a happy eighteenth birthday! Just one year early, guys.

Reclaiming the Use of my Imagination

So I have A LOT of drafts in my blog. I have the tendency to begin posts, and then I don't have time to finish, so they are just forever stranded in the purgatory that is the drafts folder. I was just cleaning out my drafts and decided to publish this one, so here we go! (this is one is pretty old)

Last week was rough, for a variety of reasons. This morning, I was in a pretty bad mood to begin, and at around 8:03 pm today, the only thing I wanted to do was go up to my bedroom, watch videos of Regina Spektor, and eat strawberry yogurt. So that's what I did.
Whenever I watch Regina on YouTube, I feel the need to text my friend about it, so I did. Now, this person is never the type who says very much; the only thing I was expecting in reply was an, "oh, cool!" and that's essentially what I got, but with a follow-up: "I've had the oddest day today!" Naturally, I inquired what made this day so odd, thinking it would be something weird like chickens crossing the road or a baby panda working the ice cream counter or something. But no, it was a combination of every day, normal things that just seemed to make this person extremely happy, which in turn made me really happy, too! Suddenly, I was no longer in this horrible mood! It was even better than a snow day! So, here's a list of weird things that for some reason make me happy.

1) People mowing their lawns. Have you ever noticed how happy people are when they do this?
2) Pictures of bears. I love bears. And anyone that has anything to do with bears. I'm actually going to name my son Baruch so that his nickname can be Bear.

3) Old people. They're so full of stories! And so wise. Life is probably great once you hit sixty... years of age, not miles per hour...

4) People who do nice things. It doesn't even have to be directly related to me! I love seeing people being nice. Like when people hold the door open for others, or when someone drops their things and everyone picks them up. Or even those people that tell everyone to have a nice day!

I think people should just be nice all the time. Nice people are... nice!

"Smile, darn ya, smile!"