Trying New Things

I've never embedded anything before! Let's see if this works:



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How to Tell if You're a Hipster

For all hipsterical intents and purposes (see, new words, that's hipster), I'll be writing this guide in the negative.

1. You're probably not a hipster if you don't have a vinyl LP library.

2. You're probably not a hipster if your fingers aren't green from your excessive use of rings.

3. If you've showered any time within the past three days, you're probably not a hipster.

4. You're probably not a hipster if you've ever used the word "hipster."

5. If you use glasses, it's probably because you can't see, and not because you're hipster.

6. If you wear fake glasses, you're definitely not a hipster.

7. You're probably not a hipster if you drive a car.

8. You're probably not a hipster if you aren't an active member of the Green Party.

9. If you're not vegan, you probably aren't hipster either.

10. Do you hate wearing mom jeans? Then you're not a hipster. 

11. You're not hipster if you live in the suburbs.

12. Actually, you're probably not a hipster if you don't live in Williamsburg.

13. Unless you use irony ironically, sorry, but you're not a hipster.

14. If you wear ugly sweaters, it's because you have bad taste and not because you're hipster.

15. If your sarcasm makes people cry, well hey, you might be a little hipster. Or just a really mean person but hey

Long Time No Post

A lady at the grocery store yelled at me for not answering her question. I couldn't figure out how to tell her that I don't work at Giant... I just wanted some gum...

It's 11:18 and I Haven't Started My Homework

I was talking to one of my dearest friends, when we came to the realization that our lives have just gone downhill since freshman year.
Just recently, I learned that my life is so meaningless to the point that I can't even pass those spam filters. That's right, the internet thinks I'm spam. I was rejected by the Internet, not once, not twice, but three times within the last 10 minutes.
Other reasons why my life sucks:
I always thought I was the favorite child. But no, in the past 5 years, my dad has sent me a total of 1 text message. I always text him, but he never answers me. I thought he was just a busy guy, but no, apparently he's not too preoccupied because he's constantly texting my sister:
         My sister: hey
         My dad: hey
         My sister: what's up dad?
         My dad: watching Netflix
         My sister: I'm going to teach you how to text like cool ppl
In addition, not too long ago, I realized I used to be cool. Then I joined marching band. No, not even matching band, I joined the color guard. Since then, I've had random bruises all over my body, and I managed to hit my lip in a way that even my dentists are worrying about my safety. I can't yawn without nearly crying.
I'm also just going to put this out there, I'm terrible at the violin. They should have made me stop when I walked into my first lesson in third grade holding my violin upside-down, ready to play.
Oh, I'm also struggling to keep a decent grade in ENGLISH CLASS. What is this?! How is it that I understand THE CALCULUS more than english?
I cant walk in a straight line
My favorite pen died
My favorite pen was discontinued
I don't know what day it is
I still haven't started homework

More self-deprecation to come later, folks

The Usual

Here's a picture of me being a cannibal

Happy Halloween!

What's better than marching band?

Everything.

Can you guess what I am?!

Story of My Life

I'm at that emotional state in my life right now where I exaggerate every single little thing that happens. I'm constantly finding faults, not necessarily of mine, but with the world as a whole. So I just spent the last 15 minutes crying, not because the government is stupid or because slavery is still rampant around the world, or because I ran out of popcorn, but because of the ice cream truck.
I was sitting, studying for my literary terms quiz, when suddenly, I heard the joyous melody of the ice cream truck. For some reason, my first reaction was to run to the window and look at all of the kids that were being treated to ice cream, because seeing other people happy in turn makes me happy! (is that creepy? I dont think it's creepy. I'm publishing this anyway. #yolo) But wanna know what I saw? Darkness and rain surrounding the solitary ice cream truck. It's not right that the sun is setting at 6:30 pm, and it certainly is not right that there are ice cream-less children out there. I am going to start my own political party to address these grievances.
More details on that later.

Just in case you were wondering, I had a bowl of cookies and cream.